I do apologize for not being able to write earlier...i just moved to Nigeria and I am still settling in and getting a hang of my unreliable internet service here at home... I have a couple of emails and messages sent to me but i like to focus on each case one at a time... and remember the names used here are not their real names...





Dear Sheila,



I recently graduated from school and I am finding it hard to figure out what i want to do with my life. I have the degree that I always wanted to get or so I thought, right now i've realized that I do not have the drive to pursue the profession that I spent four years of my life studying in college. I guess I never really liked it from the start but I went ahead with it because of my parents.



I know this may be a tough question but how do I find my purpose at this point when it looks so late?



Thanks



Susan



My response



Dear Susan,



You are not the only one that is going through this situation I can assure you of that. See the problem that most parents do is trying to live the life that they did not live while they were younger through their kids. Most times they do this by demanding what they want you to study in school and what they basically want you to be but never really asking what you may want to be in life.



Susan, for you to find your purpose, you have to define who you are as a person. What are your likes and dislikes? Using myself as an example, Sheila is someone that cannot stand blood so there is no way Sheila can ever become a doctor, Sheila lacks patience sometimes so Sheila cannot be a teacher for children, maybe a professor but never a teacher. That is really the beginning of defining who you are and what profession suits you, unfortunately you have spent 4 years in school doing something you did not want to do but it's not too late to figure out what it is that you like and pursue it, because if you work without a passion for your job, you will get weary and eventually life would become a routine.



Also, as much as we try to please our parents, learn to stand your ground in certain things that you have a conviction about and not end up with a future full of regrets.





She-She

Hi, My name is Sheila and I am your friend... that sounds weird doesn't it.

Well over the years I have been someone that has been there for friends and always had a form of advise to their problems one way or the other, so by popular demand from my friends and people that i have helped, i created this blog where you can ask me questions and i can answer them. Actually you email me your problems and I'll put them up here with my reply...your identity will be kept private..the point of this is that there are other people who are out there that may be going through the same problem that you are going through and reading this would help them a lot.

Also people can send me emails or post responses of their comments and contributions to a previous situation.

You can send your questions to dearmisssheila@yahoo.com

So here's our first situation from a certain Keabi* in the USA

Dear She-She,
I am a pretty young guy and I have never really been a real relationship. After a couple of years in America, i put on a lot of weight and that has affected my self-esteem, i do have a lot of female friends but no one really sees me as a boyfriend type and I think it's because of my weight. So my question is how do i get girls to see me as a boyfriend material and not just a friend?

Keabi

Re:
Keabi,
Your case is quite common, the first step would be to be boost your self-esteem, if you think that your self-esteem is dependent on your weight then I would suggest you find out ways to lose weight, definitely not by starvation because that never helps but by good diet and if possible exercise. A lot of times, the reason why most girls see guys as a friend material not a boyfriend material is because the guy gets too close, this is also the same with girls that are trying to get close to guys. The moment you get so close to them and it's not in an intimate way then count yourself as a friend. That does not mean you should not be a friend, it just means to know your boundaries if you plan more than friendship with the ladies.

I hope i was able to answer your question but watch out for other people's response they may have something better to say.


Well, that would be it for now, if you have any questions or you need someone to listen to you and talk to you just email dearmisssheila@yahoo.com and i would reply same day (promise).... do not post them because comments are meant for replies concerning a particular situation and not to start a new one.

~1~